Bondage Beginners Guide

bondage guide

Bondage play is on the edge between exciting and dangerous. To have the best possible time when it comes to your first time with bondage you must have gone through a bit of preparation.
Here is a quick list of must-haves and some tips to make your bondage debut as pleasurable as it can possibly be.

Bondage and BDSM.. same thing? Not really.

The word bondage usually refers to any practice that involves sexual restraints. BDSM is a much broader range of role play and practices, involving sadism and masochism. Terms matter, but only to a certain extent.  What is essential is communication and to be sure you clearly understand what you want and what a specific sexual practice includes.

There are almost infinite things you can try but let’s start with the basics:

  • sensation play: when the senses are heightened and stimulated or deprived completely. The mix of the two is usually a very effective way to increase the body’s responses to stimulation. This can involve restraints, blindfolds, hoods or for more extreme play – which I advise against for the first experiences – ball gag or gas mask.
  • sensory modification: tickling, clawing, scratching and pinching. You can play with a great range of products, from soft ticklers to something a bit more intense as whips to paddles or electrosex or clamps – again, not the first times. Playing with hot and cold is also part of this category, usually with wax. Be sure, if you want to try wax, use one for bondage and body-safe.

Have an open and honest talk with your partner before starting – as well as a “debrief” chat after.
Be honest and clear for your own sake. Not only is it fundamental to completely trust the person you are trying bondage with for the first time – or anytime – but honesty avoids unpleasant moments or traumas. Also, it’s best to avoid alcohol or any other substance that might alter your senses.  

You can start by sharing your fantasies and discuss together if you feel comfortable in trying them and what your limits are. Talking about sexual fantasies can also be fun and get you in the right mood!
Advice: If you have seen something in porn, be careful before trying it. Porn is not reality, and some practices involving, for example, restraints with rope, can be extremely dangerous if done the wrong way.

Comfort levels.

If you have never tried anything with bondage before, it might be difficult to decide what you like and don’t, but we all have our limits. Be sure you and your partner set yours.

Be open minded.

When it comes to try something new it’s important to be open to new adventures. Having a curious attitude helps you discovering also your limits and your absolutely NO – but also your yes-yes-yes.

Safe word.

This is a must have for both of you. When you are caught in the moment you might not see or realize if your partner is really enjoying this or not. Better having a safe word – that maybe you’ll never use – than be sorry.

Roles.

Will you be dominant or submissive? Are you going to try both roles? Don’t take things for granted when it comes to role play. It might be that a very dominant person in everyday life enjoys being submissive when it comes to bondage sex.

Now that you have checked all the must-haves, you can start getting all the bondage tools you want to use and start playing with your partner(s).

One last thing: remember to start slow and explore your senses and body language and responses. Bondage is a journey you do together..to a new exciting level of pleasure.

(VibesWeek Editor in Chief & Co-Founder of pureeros)

“I wish I knew all I’m discovering now about sexuality when I was 20”. I found myself hearing this too many times. When it comes to female sexuality, discovering our bodies, experiencing pleasure, understanding what we like and don't and put ourselves first, so far, taboos has prevailed. Time to change.

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